A heartfelt long no-bars conversation at 2 am and a daily only Good morning wishes over what’s app with mountains and birds in the background – between these two which one adds more value to your life? Which one can you do without? Which one would you prefer?

Well, the answer is obvious, we all know. In an age of forming countless superficial relationships over social media or a mug of beer, at the end of the day when you have that one call to make to someone you can really Talk to, you either go through your entire phonebook and find no one, or you know exactly whom to call.


Why are we talking about this? Well because it is on us to add meaning to others’ lives, and not just complain what the age has come to. It is on us to convert the small talk into something big and soulful. Yes, we will find ourselves in aplenty situations where we are required to make conversation just to avoid the awkward vibe, and more often than not we do a pathetic job at it and are already thinking when will someone come and rescue you. That needs to stop.

We need to be aware that every encounter with a stranger is an opportunity to learn something new, know a new person for real – and not just for the sake of it. Imagine the millions of stories that billions of people all around the world have within them. Would it not be wonderful if we could ask each other for their stories and not just mere answers?

So let us take a look at some of the ways we can turn our communication around, to add a bit more meaning to every conversation we have.

1. Take genuine interest:
The world is a wonderful place with even more wonderful people in it, who are just bottled up thinking its better that way, for they have met too many fakers already. Ever thought about what kind of a place the world would be if everybody opened up if everybody spoke nothing but the truth if every human being was free of fear to be judged? Be genuine in your approach and ensure you let the other person know you are not there to judge him/her. Otherwise, as you would know, a fake one can be spotted from miles away, killing all the interest to talk for real within seconds.

2. Stop mirroring, start un-mirroring:
Most of the times, when we are asked “Had lunch?”, we reply with “Yes, what about you?”, and the answer more often than not is “Yes, me too”, and that is The End. This habit of mirroring whatever is said is a painkiller of conversation because it restricts communication by pushing it down a very narrow lane. So, next time instead of giving a usual reply, say “Yes, I had it. The chicken masala was extremely spicy today, wasn’t it?”. Break the chain, break the wheel and break the monotony!

3. Use Open-ended questions:
Make a habit of asking questions that leaves scope for the other person to answer outside the binary of “yes” and “no”. Avoid asking, “Are you angry”. Instead, you could ask, “What is making you angry?”. The second question not only lets him/her speak their hearts out, it also adds fuel to ensure the conversation is a long and big one, instead of a short and small one.

 

4.Revamp your questions:
How was your day? – What did you do today?
How was your weekend? – What was the best part about your weekend?
Where are you from? – What is the best thing about your hometown?
What do you do? – How did you end up at your line of work?
So, the moral of the story here is that, instead of asking the expected questions, turn it around, such that those around you get a chance to speak about who they are as a person.

5. Practice catching:
It is important for you to not leave the other person hanging in the middle of the air. In a game of catch and throw, both the parties need to participate equally. So while you initiate and maybe facilitate the small talk to become big, ensure to catch the replies properly, and carry it forward accordingly, instead of going on with your prepared line of questions only.

These 5 points, if incorporated in your daily life and conversation are bound to have an effect on not just the quality of your conversations, but also on your reputation. Remember everyone likes a 2 am person when compared to hollow morning wishes. So go on, make the small talk big.